


No More Regrets

by Headcanonsandmore



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: BAMF Ron Weasley, Crushes, Friendship/Love, Gen, Harry And His Wheezy, M/M, Oblivious Harry, Oblivious Harry Potter, Pining, Romantic Friendship, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, Secret Crush, Supportive Ron Weasley, The Person Harry Potter Would Miss Most
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:09:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26088463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Headcanonsandmore/pseuds/Headcanonsandmore
Summary: Harry Potter never seems to have any luck with romance. After enlisting the help of WWW’s latest romance products, however, it becomes abundantly clear as to why he never has any luck with love.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley
Comments: 54
Kudos: 319





	No More Regrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rabisacos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabisacos/gifts), [ViviTheFolle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViviTheFolle/gifts), [BooigiBoi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BooigiBoi/gifts), [warriorlid14](https://archiveofourown.org/users/warriorlid14/gifts).



> This was based on a suggestion for a fic posted on Tumblr here; https://headcanonsandmore.tumblr.com/post/186891906434/harry-accidentally-drinks-a-love-potion-and-falls). Hope you all like it!

Harry was sick of it.

The constant awkward first dates, the flirtations that went over his head, the constant interest in his backstory; it was a nightmare.

He’d thought it would just be an issue in the wizarding world, but -even in the muggle world- he had no luck finding someone he’d happily spend his time with. It wasn’t so much that people didn’t want him, but that he never seemed to find anyone he was compatible with. At least in the wizarding world, he could get by with small-talk about the Quidditch season, or what courses he took at O.W.L level. 

In the muggle world? No chance. His knowledge of muggle pop culture had never exactly been top-tier, but it had been thrown into sharp relief whenever his date tried to converse about something.

_‘Do you think they’ll ever bring back “Doctor Who”?’_

‘My aunt and uncle locked me in my cupboard whenever I tried to watch it.’

_‘What music do you like?’_

‘Anything that my cousin didn’t use to punch me to the tune of.’

_‘You think England will win the World Cup next year?’_

‘Which sport is the world cup about, again?’

Yeah, considering that he’d spent most of his childhood living in a cupboard, it kinda prevented any relaxed conversation of shared interests.

This was why Harry had turned to his friends for help. It was an early morning during the middle of the week, and Harry had found himself inside Hermione’s office at the ministry, with Ron cheerfully tagging along.

‘Harry, shall I set you up with someone from work?’ Hermione asked, in that infuriatingly-earnest way she had, as she looked up from the report she had been interrupted from completing. ‘Jamie from Magical Maintenance is looking for someone.’

Harry rolled his eyes.

‘Unless Jamie’s interest include “goofing around with Ron” and “shared trauma”, I don’t think it’s gonna work.’

‘Oh, I’m on your list of favourite hobbies, mate?’ Ron asked, grinning as he threw Harry a chocolate frog.

‘Don’t get too big-headed about it,’ Harry chuckled, catching it. ‘Doesn’t mean you’re not a git at times.’

‘Nah, you love me,’ Ron laughed.

Harry rolled his eyes fondly. Well, that _was_ true, after all.

‘Honestly, Harry; go and speak to Fred and George if you’re really that disillusioned,’ Hermione said, turning back to her paperwork. ‘Now stop bothering me and _go_!’

Harry left Hermione to get on with her workload, got a goodbye hug from Ron, and flooed over to Diagon Alley. As usual, Weasleys Wizard Wheezes was a riot of colour, noise and smell, crammed with people.

‘Harry!’ George exclaimed, as the boy who lived pushed his way through the crowds.

‘Heya, George; got a minute?’

‘Bit busy here, but Fred’s on break out back!’

Harry slipped through the door labelled ‘ _staff only’_ , and found the older twin sat reading a copy of The Quibbler.

‘Hey, Harry- blimey, you look miserable!’

Harry smiled humourlessly.

‘I know, Fred.’

‘Romance trouble?’

‘More like a lack of it,’ Harry replied, as he sat down. ‘Nothing ever seems to work out, you know? Is it really too much to ask that I find _one_ person that I get along with?’

‘Well, you’ve come to the right place, Harry, m’lad!’

‘Fred, I’m flattered, but Lee would kill me-’

‘Not _me_ , obviously!’ Fred laughed, before pulling a box off a nearby stock shelf. ‘Allow me to introduce you to our latest romance range!’

Harry raised a skeptical eyebrow.

‘Hang on; I thought love potions had been made illegal.’

‘What do you take us for, Harry?’ The older twin plonked the box down in front of him on the table. ‘Only the stronger ones that can be used on another person have been banned, and -besides- those ones involve people trying to get others to fall for them. Not our style at all.’

‘So, why do these ones do, then?’

‘Simple; they cut out all the mucking about with trying to find someone compatible, and just cause an increase in your attraction to someone you already get along with. No more awkward flirting with strangers you’ll forget the name of in ten minutes. Just one spell and _voila_! We call them the “No More Regrets” range.’

‘And they actually work?’

‘How do you think me and Lee ended up together?’

Now intrigued, Harry leaned forward, pulling his money from his pocket.

‘Sold. How much for the box?’

Fred shook his head.

‘For you, Harry? Free. Remember, you gave us our start-up money. Just take them and enjoy yourself. We wish you good luck with finding someone.’

Harry grinned.

‘Thanks; I’m gonna need it.’

~~~~~~  
  


A week later, Fred and George were putting up a new display near the till, when the doors of the shop opened and a very disgruntled Harry walked through.

‘Geez, Harry; what happened _now_?’ Fred exclaimed. ‘Did Hermione try and set you up with Cooper from Magical Sports _again_?’

‘No,’ Harry said, putting the “No More Regrets” box down on the counter. ‘Sorry, Fred; I think you might have given me a dud one of these romance range things.’

‘We don’t _have_ dud ones!’ George exclaimed, as if offended by the suggestion. ‘Every one of those has been tested extensively; they have 100% success rates across the board!’

‘Well, why have I felt _exactly the same_ as before I casted the spell a week ago, then?’

Fred and George looked at Harry in confusion.

‘ _Exactly_ the same?’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Positive,’ Harry replied. ‘There hasn’t been any increase in my attraction to anyone; I even called up Ginny just to check nothing had changed there.’

‘Bet Luna _loved_ that conversation.’

‘They were both very sweet about it, actually. But that’s not the point; why hasn’t anything changed?’

Fred and George checked the box of products they had given Harry; all of them were in perfect working order, including the one Harry had used.

‘ _How_ … _this makes no sense_ ….’

At that moment, however, the door of the shop opened again, and Ron walked in. The youngest Weasley brother was wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans. He plonked a heavy shopping bag onto the counter.

‘Hi Harry, thought I saw you run in here.’

The boy who lived grinned, as Ron pulled him into a hug.

‘Hey, Ron; been out for shopping, eh?’

‘Errands for mum. She’s demanding you stay for Sunday lunch at The Burrow next week.’

‘I’ll see if a gap in my schedule opens up.’

‘Oh, like you can resist a Weasley family get-together…’

Harry laughed, his green eyes shining in fondness as he stared up at his best mate.

‘Guilty as charged; you know me too well.’

Ron chuckled, absentmindedly wiping a bit of dirt off Harry’s cheek with his thumb. The bespectacled young man flushed, and his pupils dilated.

Fred and George looked at Harry, who still staring happily up at Ron, and then at the perfectly functioning “No More Regrets” products.

‘Ah…’ the twins murmured quietly in unison, as comprehension dawned on them. ‘ _That’ll_ be why…’


End file.
